Girl interrupted...

The last couple of weeks have been a little "Crazy" for me, or actually I've felt as though I was going a little crazy, either way I hate to feel that way!
Let me go back for a sec...For the last three years, we have lived in a place (Chicago) that under different circumstances would be a really cool place to live, but because we are separated from both of our families, including two of our children for 10 months out of a year, it has handicapped me. What do I mean by handicapped, well I feel like I am never all the way right??? There's always something missing, nothing ever feels like I think it should? I don't see all of the really good things around me, but I surely never miss any of the bad! I have created an existence for myself that I can barely function day to day. It's weird and it sucks! Look, I take full responsibility for my feelings. I don't usually put blame on anyone or anything for "making" me feel a certain way- but for some reason I can not shake this and I feel as though it's consuming me...

I am constantly feeling sorry for myself, and I constantly complain about my situation. It's draining the life out of me and I'm sure my friends and family feel the same way every time I talk to any of them! Seriously, I can't believe people still answer their phones when I call.

Okay, so back to the "crazy" part of this post, the summer is over and with that came the return (to Utah) of two of our kids. Just try to imagine for a moment saying goodbye to two of your kids for 10 months.....................inconceivable, I know... I am also slammed in the face with perspective of what I have just written. I am truly thankful that I am allowed any time at all on this Earth with my kids...

I am heavy with thought and desperately seeking answers that I will probably not find. Or maybe I'm too focused on things I don't need to "focus" on! What ever it may be, I want to say thank you to all of the people who love me, especially to my Husband, who I'm sure feels a little "crazy" himself. I also want to thank my friend Chelsea for always finding the "good" in my life, and for making sure I see it! And I do, I see it- and I am so thankful for friends like her, that love you- good or bad, "crazy" or not so "crazy" And I also want to say to my darling Mom and Dad, don't you worry about all of the things I've just written, I just needed to see it on paper, so to speak, so that I could take a hold of it all, and begin making changes...

And for the pic of my son at the beginning of this rant, it just makes me happy- and I need all the happy I can get!